A Simple Concept

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
-Christ of Nazareth

People Do Things To Be Things

So, the other day I was there with my friends, in a park. Being homeless, I had slept in this particular park before, and in that instance had been awoken by police officers the next morning who had taken down my information and warned me that I was not allowed to sleep in that park.
One day I was in the local market, selling copies of my artwork. One person who was very interested in picking up a set of all the ones I had on me confessed that he didn't have any money, but asked me if I'd like to trade him for some Acid. Being the loveable psychonaut that I am, I happily agreed, and gave him four photocopied peices of paper for two chemical-soaked peices of paper.
(I won't go into the details of the trip, but it was damned good Acid. We're talking real LSD here, none of this 2c-* stuff. Not that I dislike phenylethylmines.)
As the night went, though, granted that I was up and awake and flying all night, people kept asking me if I'd be sticking around long enough for me to watch their things. I didn't really have any plans except to chill in the park and dance, so I happily agreed. As time went on, things kept piling up and up, and people would go... But not come back.
By the time 5am rolled around, I was surrounded by three sleeping bodies (one of which had also been asked to watch things, two who didn't care if they got caught sleeping in the park) and a slew of bags, trinkets, and even a bicycle. Having spend hours and hours taxing my body, I started to grow weary, and, with the LSD beginning to wear off, I began giving more and more contemplation to sleeping in the park with my companion, the one who had also been asked to watch things. Just as the first hints of pre-sunrise blue started to breach the horizon, I propped up my bag to use as a pillow, and passed out.
In what seemed like mere moments later, I was awoken by a soft kick to the boot. I opened my eyes, and much to my chagrin, there was a police officer standing over me. I sat up, and was shocked to find four of them! They had come in three cars!
Each of the four of us who had slept in the park was being taken care of by a different officer. Mine pulled me aside and asked for my identification. I gave him my health card and offered my birth certificate, to which he declined. I referred to him as "Sir" and "Officer". When he asked me a question, I politely and dutifully answered in full detail; he asked me my name, and I offered both my legal name and my alias, and even offered to spell it for him. I showed him all my tattoos and identifying markings, et cetera, et cetera. He apologized for the hassle, to which I told him I understood, that he was just doing his job.
The four officers went back to the cars with our respective IDs. During this time I was informed by my friends that we were getting ticketed; a $125 fine! Just for sleeping in the park!
After a moment passed, the officers came back, each with a peice of idenfication and a peice of paper. The officer assigned to me waved his hand away from the others, and handed me both. I opened the ticket, and the first thing I noticed was that my last name had been spelled wrong. He then said to me, "Sorry about all this, but I've got to go through all the procedures and everything." I went to absolve him again, but he continued, "But if you'll look there, you'll see your last name is spelled wrong. You don't have to worry about it."
The others all recieved $125 fines. I got off scott free.


People do things to be things. In this particular instance, this officer went to college and law school to get a job with the police. He wanted respect, he wanted authority... He wanted to be treated like an Officer. I treated him like an officer, and he treated me like I wanted to be treated; a good, honest, under-the-radar punk kid.
People do what it takes to be doctors or firefighters 'cos they want to be treated like lifesavers. People act like gangsta thugs 'cos they want to be treated like they have power and personal freedom (and in this society, having money does mean having power and personal freedom). People become soldiers because they value unity and they want to feel like they are a part of something big.
Nature and Nurture arise together to form in a person's mind what they think is Really Cool, and then the more enterprising of us go off and do whatever it takes to be Really Cool. When you disrupt a person's fantasy-life by treating them how they don't want to be treated, animosity quickly builds up and said person will (in the instance where they have the option) take effective measures to remove you from their life, or (in the instance where they don't have that option, or don't realize they have that option), seek to force you to empathize with their position by treating you in a way that you don't like to be treated.
It doesn't feel good, does it? Then why are you doing it?
However, when you act in a way that is congruent with someone's fantasy, you have nothing but all to gain. You stand not only to inherit the benefits of what someone in their particular position and disposition has to offer (in my case, an 'accidental' misspelling), but also, they will be more likely to indulge you in your fantasies.

Mahatma Ghandi once said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Be fantastic, and the world will be fantastic to you.
Take it from Jesus.

A Call To Arms


Shit is going the fuck down.

Still homeless. Will be for a long time. But I'll be jacked in again in a couple weeks.
Until then, I would like to inform everyone that the spiral is tightening at an exponential rate. We don't have much time. That means start living, Dad damnit, 'cos there's no guarantee you're going to survive the coming trials.

Timewave Zero is approaching. The time of Novelty is nigh. If there's absolutely anything you have ever wanted to do, now is the time to do it!

A Personal Matter

"Only after disaster can we be resurrected."
-Tyler Durden

Strife is good for the soul

Pardon my absence, folks. I'm a little bit homeless at the moment and I don't have the luxury of a reliable internet connection. On the plus side, I'm evolving in leaps and bounds.


There was once a Taoist farmer who worked with horses. One bright and sunny day, his best horse decided to make a run for it, escaping from the corral. His neighbours came to see what all the commotion was about, and, finding out about the escaped horse, exclaimed "Oh, what bad luck!"
The farmer replied, "Maybe".
Some days later, there was a sudden burst of excitement as the horse returned to the farm- with an entire herd of wild horses! The farmer and his son quickly corralled them, and the neighbours, hearing of the event again, came to see. Finding the now-full corral, they exclaimed "Oh, what good luck!"
The farmer replied, "Maybe".
While the farmer and his son were trying to break the horses in, there was an accident. The son fell off one of the horses and broke his leg very badly. While it was healing, a mild infection, and from that, fever set in. The townsfolk, hearing of this, would console the farmer whenever he came into town, saying "Oh, what bad luck!"
The farmer replied, "Maybe".
At the time, the warlord who owned the territory all this was happening on became involved in a dispute with another warlord. He send his recruiters into town, who took all the able-bodied men, suited them up, and hauled them off to boot camp. Upon seeing the horrible condition of the farmer's son, they quickly left him behind to find more. Days later, the fever broke, and the farmer was the only man left in the area with able-bodied help for around the farm. The townsfolk naturally proclaimed, "Oh, what good luck!"

-Taoist Koan

I Told You So

Approx. 3200-3100 BCE: Earliest phase of Stonehenge construction begins.
Approx. 3200-3100 BCE: The final period leading up to Ancient Sumer being the first organized Civilization in the world comes to a culmination.
August 11th, 3114 BCE: The date of on the Mayan calender.
February 18th, 3102 BCE: Year 0 of the Kali Yuga (the Age of Vice) begins.
Approx. 29th Century BCE: Teachings of the I Ching (a symbol system designed to identify order in what seem like chance events; often used as a divinitory) are founded.
2852 BCE: Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors period of China begins; in this period, the plow, money, and markets were invented.

Some crazy shit went down 5120 years ago, man.

There's a couple ways this world is gonna go in the next two decades. One way or another, in four and a half years, some pretty crazy shit is gonna start happening. On December 21st, 2012, the Mayan calender is going to hit; this is as far as the calender goes. After that, it just stops. The Aztec calender lists 12/21/2012 as the end of a 26,000-year cycle.
At the same, time, there's this guy, Terrence McKenna. You may have heard of me mentioning him before. Well, he predicted this thing called Timewave Zero. The details are kind of sketchy, one of those pseudoscience things, but we're gonna go with it 'cos it makes life more interesting. Basically, this guy McKenna, he takes the I Ching and interprets all the sequence patterns in it (or something to that effect), and gets a buddy of his to design him a computer program. It looks like this. The X-axis represents Time, where the Y-axis represents Novelty; that is, high points on the graph correspond to where non-novel events have happened; typically the dull, bland proceeding of life in general. Low points represent where unusual things happen. Tiananmen square, for instance, was a low point.
You know what? He can probably explain it better than I can. Check out this video.
But yeah, so if you look at that picture again, you'll notice how in the top-right corner it says ZERO DATE: 12/21/2012. You'll also notice how the the graph touches the X-axis. Neat, huh?
Kinda odd how two means of sequencing events- the Mayan calender and the Chinese I Ching- that came into being at around the same time but on opposite ends of the planet both predict the same thing.

Basically what all this means is that on The Big Day, some shit is going to go down. What will happen? No one knows. The fact that it's the first time the Novelty axis hits Zero goes to say that whatever will happen is gonna be something that's never happened before.
Hell; 'nothing' could happen. That is, a billion tiny little things, each too small to chalk up to anything definitive. Maybe the effects of hitting Zero won't be obviously felt for decades to come.


"Imagine, stalking elk past department store windows and stinking racks of beautiful rotting dresses and tuxedos on hangers; you'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life, and you'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. Jack and the beanstalk, you'll climb up through the dripping forest canopy and the air will be so clean you'll see tiny figures pounding corn and laying strips of venison to dry in the empty car pool lane of an abandoned superhighway stretching eight-lanes-wide and August-hot for a thousand miles."
-Tyler Durden, Fight Club

There's a bunch of things that are gonna happen. Things are gonna culminate and shit's going to hit the fan, hard. Everything up to Armageddon will happen sometime between Now and 2060; and probably sooner than that. The rest, well, who knows?

¬ First of all, George W. Bush is going to take over the United States of America. Towards the end of his last year in 2008, when he really starts feeling the pressure, he's gonna declare open war on some country he shouldn't. Most likely North Korea. Whoever it is, he's going to bomb the wrong motherfucker, and then they're gonna open a can of Whoop Ass that'll make 9/11 seem like a schoolyard bully. Once this happens, Dubya'll be free to declare State of Emergency, a state where he is legally allowed to suspend the election. The Patriot Act and all it's predecessors will go into overdrive, and virtually every right will be stripped from the citizen.
Get out while you still can.

¬ The world economy is going to collapse. Remember how the Cold War ended? America wound up having more cash, and eventually just got the USSR to arm itself into financial oblivion. Sound familiar to what's going on right now with the US? The combined forces of the Middle East are causing Emperor Dubya to spend, what is it, six hundred billion dollars a year on arms? More than the entire rest of the world combined, or something ridiculous like that? Pre-Bush, the American dollar was sitting at around a buck fifty Canadian; now the two currencies are equal. Couple this with the population shift I'm also going to explain, and we've got a bit of a problem. Of course, once the USA tumbles over (and it stands high, so it'll fall far), it won't be long before the world economic situation cracks like glass. 1930 all over again.

¬ The Indigo kids are coming. The new generation is one that's spiritually supercharged; couple that with a communication medium like the internet, and we're gonna have a whole new wave of people coming up on us. The new generation has no tolerance for bureaucracy, absolute authority, doing things without asking why, and generally things that have an absence of creativity involved. That is; they're children of Novelty. They have no tolerance for what's been done before and are excited and motivated by the new, the bold, the fresh.
Drug use in schools, in the past thirty or so years, has gone from virtually unheard of (not that it didn't happen, but you didn't talk about it) to being completely open. Fifteen year olds talk to their peers about their Ecstasy use in between their Grade 10 classes. Eighteen year olds employ such Babelian terms as 2c-i, 2c-t-7, 5-MeO-Dmt, and the like. This is causing kids these days to open their eyes. Realize that the scholastic institution is bullshit. People these days say that kids dropping out is on the rise, it's starting to become a real problem; it's not a problem, it's a solution. Kids are taking the Red Pill at a very early age.

¬ After the second World War, the veterans came home to their lovely childhood sweethearts and Mated Like Bunnies. This caused a huge population bubble we all know as the Baby Boom. To facilitate the Baby Boom came millions of jobs. These Baby Boomers are around 50-55 or older now; and they're dying out. So, things are going to come to a head. With the way today's schools are created, you need four years of college just to deliver pizzas. As the Baby Boomers die out at rates higher than Indigo Children are being born, it's going to create a job vacuum. The problem with this, though, is that all of those jobs are going to need years and years of post-secondary, and kids these days aren't even finishing high school. The motorcycle wheel is gonna start wobbling as there's not going to be enough people to fill that vacuum. Technological progress, now at a point of exponential acceleration and almost self-replication, is going to just keep on motoring along, with society being the hapless driver who knows no matter what he does, he is gonna crash. Meanwhile, the unemployment rate is going to go way up as the new kids find themselves incapable of maintaining McJobs, tightening the economic stress.

¬ The Oil's gonna run out. No shit. War's going to break out as the most powerful nations fight over what's left.

¬ Virtually all civilizations had a Sun God. The Voice of God (the Holy Spirit) is a light within you, an energyless light that you can even see when your eyes are closed and in the dark (i.e. dreaming and such). It's only natural that people would associate this light with the Material light, the Sun, a nice big ball of Nuclear Fire.
More than one religion has predicted the Apocalypse. Most of them predict it ending in fire. The Norse had Ragnarök, which was to conclude with the Titan Surtr burning the Nine Worlds with the Sword of Revenge, that consumes everything in its path with flames. Islam has Qīyāmah, said to happen when it's least expected, where the sinners will be consumed in Hellfire and the saved will return to the Garden. While the numbers and time scales are a bit sketchy, Hinduism teaches that Kalki, the tenth and final avatar of the Vishnu (the Ultimate Personality of Godhead), will come to Earth to vanquish the sinners and bring the virtuous to the Light. And then of course we have the book of Revelations, and so on, and so on.
The world will be scorched in Nuclear Fire. I'm sorry. Brace yourselves. This is the Holy Fire that everyone keeps going on and on about. It's coming, it's coming hard, and it's coming soon. Brush up on your survival skills while it's still optional.

¬ International trade will stop. People are going to die off. Civilization will crumble. After the riots, civil wars, and attempts by governments to regain control, mankind will one day find itself living out of the charred husks of old towns and cities. There will be no power. There will be no gas. People will be forced to go back to "the old ways". Tribes will form. People will begin to remember what's it's like to be forced to work together, rather than against each other, as Capitalism would have you do. People will remember what's it's like to live, what's it's like to survive, and not just exist absently.

¬ In time, towns will turn to cities. Expeditions will be made into the old power plants; cities near salvageable hydroelectric dams will flourish like Jewels of the Nile. Civilization will rise again; only this time, constantly surrounded by plant-choked ruins, a chilling reminder of the perils of power. The quality of life will begin to rise again, and over time, a new society founded upon harmony and prosperity will emerge.

¬ The chosen, those whose virtuous ancestors survived the Hellfire Purge and the subsequent Time of Troubles afterwards, will come to live in Heaven on Earth as humanity reaches the Age of Enlightenment.

So sayeth I, so it hath been told.

On Disputes

"If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it."
-George Burns

Well, fine!

The direst an argument should ever get between two lovers is "We'll just have to agree to disagree". A point should never be pressed to the extent that it presses into your lover's side; if both parties have exhausted all unpresented evidence, the debate is to be called to stalemate. Anything more will do nothing but build up enmity.

In the event of such a stalemate, it is often a good idea to, shortly after, do something small, nice, and unnecessary for your partner; the kind of thing where they say "Aww, you didn't have to do that". Remember how much you love them and let this bring an earnest smile to your face. This shows that despite the result of the debate, you are still on amicable terms; and is a clean solution to the period of awkwardness that usually follows these kinds of disputes.

On Forgiveness

"i gotta tell ya
the most fun
aside from having 'a problem'
is 'admitting you have a problem'
god i love that part"

Everyone's Got a Story to Tell

Once, I was walking through the streets of my old hometown, a small, white, catholic town, dressed in my raver gear, when a pick-up truck pulled out and I heard it's occupant shout at me "Freak of nature!!".
As, now that I'm living in a big, diverse and highly accepting city, this hasn't happened to me since I moved away from said hometown, I was kind of taken aback. I mulled it over for a bit, and, acknowledging that this happened early in my walk and was likely to happen again, decided I should have a retort prepared for future harassment. The first thing that came to my mind was a phrase I employ to a repetitive degree; "No worries!" I would should back. That didn't quite strike me, though, and I pondered over it a bit longer. No sooner than I had decided on it, this big, ugly looking old van pulls out of a street and I hear "Freak!!"
To which I was authorized to let back a very loud "I forgive you!"

People often ask me how it is that I'm so easy to forgive.

Awhile ago, I discovered something big.
Evil does not exist.
I used to think that some people were just good people, and some people were just evil people. It could be nurture that made them this way, it could be nature, it could be both. Through Taoism, however, and the nature of the great Yin-Yang, I discovered that the duality of good and evil does not exist outside of mankind. That is; it is Man's creation. No antelope is good. No tiger is evil. No summer breeze is happy; no storm is angry.

For me, it comes down to psychology. First of all, check out Benedict De Spinoza's Emotions. It's a good primer on the nature of emotions.
Okay. So. (Here's de Earth.)
People require empathy. We as humans are not individuals; that's the illusion. We are all a part of the Collective Unconscious, there's a great grid that binds us. When we are starved from that grid, that's when we start experiencing some real discomfort. How many of you truly like being lonely? I mean alone alone, for a long period of time. Only the most scarred of us do.
To paraphrase Joe Rogan, if you want evidence of this, just look at the criminal justice system. In maximum security prisons, what's the highest form of punishment for misbehavior? Solitary Confinement. They take you away from other fuckin' murderers and assholes, people you hate enough to have gotten into those spats in the first place! This is punishment? Doesn't that sound like a reprieve? But no, as anyone who's spent any time in solitary can tell you, after awhile you just start goin' fuckin' crazy.
We need to be connected.

I'm having trouble discerning where the most appropriate place to throw this in is, so I suppose here I'll make note here of one of the conditions of humanity. As a result of our connection with the Eternal Divine, we understand there is a concept of eternity. That somewhere in the vast omniverse, there is a place that transcends time itself. (Actually, there's a lot of those places.) Granted that we equate eternity to the divine, and as a process of evolution naturally crave to be divine ourselves, fool ourselves into believing that we are capable of eternity.
How this manifests in context is that people are governed by a sort of emotional inertia. That is, they'll continue feeling whatever they're feeling until an outside thought our source alters their mood. This inertia picks up mass, though, much like a snowball running down a hill; the longer the person remains unabsolved (or focused), the stronger their Negativity (or Positivity) gets.

Awhile ago, actually right when I met him, my boyfriend and his roommate were in the middle of this huge debacle. They were trapped in this endless pattern of annoyance, constantly driving each other crazy. From the inside, from his perspective, it was so obvious; he shouldn't be nice to her, he shouldn't forgive her, she's causing him grief every goddamned day!
One day he was ranting about her, as had been the norm as of late, talking about how she was just pure evil, and it got me thinking. I remembered that evil does not exist; as such, if not evil, what force was driving her? I pondered it over intensely.
People hurt people because they're hurting; no one in this world acts out of maliciousness for maliciousness's sake. The vast majority of serial killers all had childhoods where they were beaten, abused, and unloved. Look at relationship drama; here we see an example of people who claim to love each other, yet hurt each other. Lovers, daughters, mothers, sisters, brothers, fathers, sons, what have you; they love each other and they hurt each other. "You always hurt the ones you love."
People in this world have an overwhelming need to be empathized with. We're at an age where, sadly, the supply of people excedes the demand for them, to the point where we as a society have created endless numbers of meaningless beurocratic jobs just so people can find meaning in a world where they really aren't needed. When people don't feel needed, they don't feel recognized, don't feel paid attention to, and if there's one thing people love and need, it's attention.
So, like a five year old whose mother is working, people lash out. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad- attention is attention. In today's society, meritous achievements are very seldom recognized, while sewing strife is. Only now, armed with increased cognitive and analytical capacity, they're no longer, say, pulling their sister's hair; they're picking apart their sister's less admirable qualities and rubbing it in her face.
This is to say nothing of snuffing out one person's candle in order to make theirs seem brighter by comparison. People have lots and lots of dysfunctions, and I don't have time to go into them all.
So how to stop this? Who do you hurt? Why? Dig deep. Because you're hurting. So how to stop this?
It has to stop with you.
If you want someone to stop hurting you, the easiest way to do this is to stop hurting them. If we hurt the ones who hurt us, and you don't hurt people, people won't hurt you.

Once, a man approached the Buddha. He called him lazy, an oaf, an idiot shrouding himself in clever words. The man yelled and screamed until his throat was hoarse, while the Buddha listened intently. He came up with every name and term and insult he could think applicable, until he could scream no more. Finally, he stopped, and found the Buddha smiling. He said to him then, why are you smiling? Here I have insulted you and attacked your honor and screamed at you, how can you be so calm?
To which the Buddha replied, "If you refuse a gift, then to whom does it belong?"

-Buddhist Koan

There are some people in this world who are hurting so bad and are terrified to look at themselves, and so these people lash out at everyone and everything, trying to find something other than themself they can blame for their pain. These people are dangerous and to be avoided; a tumor to the body.
Perhaps the saddest part about these people is that they will not stop until they have dragged down everyone they can, until they finally force people to empathize with them by making them actually hurt as much as they do. As long as there are people in pain in this world, there will be healers. I know a great many healers, and so do you, probably... You might even be one. A startling continuity I've noticed is that many of these healers have mates who are bad for them, who hurt them, put them down, expect too much of them, depress them to no end, and it makes perfect sense; they have an abundance of positivity, and their mates have an abundance of negativity, and, as we know, opposites attract. However the energy transferrence is not without toll. The negative quickly establishes a position of power and dominance over the positive, thus securing their source of energy, while the positive suffers significant psychological damage from the constant drain. The negative will typically profess their love for the positive early on in the relationship, and the positive, afraid to hurt the negative more than they already are, will often force themself to love them back, generally lying to themself in order to maintain this image.
I don't have to tell you this can end in disaster.
Oftentimes, the positive will, conciously or subconciously, realize that if they were to leave the negative, this would only wound them futher, resulting in a more unstable person who would then go out and lash out even harder against others. Being the type to bear the weight of the world on their shoulders, they'll sacrifice their own happiness in an attempt to reform the negative, make him positive, but sadly, this seldom works. Eventually the positive starts running out of energy, and now that the negative isn't getting the same flow they were before, they take this as a sign that the positive is losing interest, and in such, starts creating their own negativity all over again. And the cycle repeats and repeats, each time the negative having the same amount of energy while the positive loses a little bit more each time.
Now, this is the instance of a purely archetypical positive/negative relationship, and so it doesn't apply to most people... But there's a little but of each in all of us, and we all play both the positive and the negative at some point. (Sometimes simultaneously.)

And so the Koan comes into play; what's the most responsible thing you can do when encountering a Black Hole? It's not to treat them, unfortunately... At least, don't take on that daunting task alone. Some cancer patients are beyond the reach of chemotherapy, and some people are beyond the help of gentle nurturing. The responsible thing here is to show them tough love, and when they throw a tantrum, leave them be, refuse their gift, let them keep it, and to warn others about interactions with this person. If your social network is large enough, maybe find someone who is more suited to the task than you; for instance, if the poisoned person is heterosexual, someone of the same sex who is more authorized to take a step back and tell the person they're being an idiot without all sorts of emotions bubbling to the surface. If you don't, though, and you are stuck to warning people, be wary; the negative will accuse you of "slinging shit" at them, and, just like the man accusing the Buddha, will shout every name and insult and dirty trick in the book at you in an attempt to bring you down to their level.

And, just like the Buddha, you will need to smile, have love for them despite their faults, and forgive them.


"For further information, consult your pineal gland."
-Principia Discordia
(Today's second quote has been dramatically chopped down due to tl;dr. For individuals who want to know the full story- and I strongly suggest that each of you do- we're going to reference to pages 7, 8, and 9 in the Principia Discordia (originally written in 1965).)

This is specifically for YOU.

I didn't intend on writing this entry so soon, but it seems Fate has other plans in store. It became imperative that I write this as soon as possible. Fuck... The hardest part is in figuring out where the fuck to start.

Duh. Ok. There's this thing.
Its name is

Some people call it Nirvana. Some call it Bardo. Others, God or Heaven. Pretty much every culture has a Sun God or a Light God. Some people call it Ra, although not so much anymore.

I call it The hallucinations I see every time I close my eyes.

That's not actually true, sometimes I see it with my eyes open...
...Like now...
But yeah. It's a brilliance without light. A shifting, perfectly synchronized fractal shatterwall of glass flooded by some sort of light that isn't made of energy that fills the space between this body and all matter around it.

One of the things Enlightenment has been described to me as was a "bright light over a mountain". I've heard the term "glass chrysanthemum" get thrown around a few times. Some Tibetan sects refer to it as the Bardo, a place full of lights. The symbol of the Sahasrana is a layer of 1000 petals arranged in the colours of the visible light spectrum.

One of the things I've heard about Death is that it's kind of like a "light at the end of the tunnel". People as they're dying see this brilliant bright light that calls to them. It tells them not to be afraid and they slip into death with a look of completely bewilderment in their eyes. Sometimes there's Angels. Beings of light that speak to them, that tell them to walk into the light.

XKCD (a really fantastic comic "of romance, sarcasm, math, and language") did a really excellent comic on Dreaming once.
You know what's crazy about dreaming? Your eyes are closed, you're not getting any light in them at all, and yet you can see your dreams clear as day. They're completely real; a bright, sunny day looks bright and sunny.
...Where's that light coming from?

Up until the 1960's, it was commonly believed that the Pineal Gland was a vestigial organ, much like the appendix; presumably why Mal-2 wrote it's importance into the Principia Discordia. Since then, however, we've learned that the Pineal Gland produces Melatonin, a Tryptamine. Melatonin is the key hormone involved in sleeping.
The Pineal Gland actually contains photoreceptors; that is, the same kinds of receptors your eyes have. When it takes in little light, it starts producing Melatonin, and you fall asleep. When there is light present, it doesn't make as much. Melatonin also suppresses sexual function. In children, the Pineal Gland is much larger than adults; at about the time of puberty, it shrinks. This is why children don't experience sexual function.
Your Pineal Gland is located pretty close to the exact middle of your brain, and is the only node that sits in between the two lobes.
More or less exactly where your Anja is.

If you'll click on that link there, you'll see a picture of two petals and the symbol Om.
Om is a bit of a complicated syllable. In fact there's a tome called the Mandukya Upanishad whose entire purpose is the explanation and detail of this syllable. You can get the summarized version from that link there, which is a highly suggested read.

Let's get chemical.

"Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here’s Tom with the weather."
-Comedian Bill Hicks

"When you smoke this, the onset is very rapid. 30-45 seconds, you know? There's this feeling which comes over your body - half arousal, half anaesthesia. The air appears to suddenly have been sucked out of the room because all the colors brighten visibly, as though some intervening medium has been removed. And then there's a sound, like a piece of bread wrapper or cellophane being scrunched up and thrown away. A friend of mine says this is radio-entelechy leaving the anterior fontanelle at the top of your head. [laughter] I'm not sure I want to line up with that... but a membrane is being ripped; something is being torn. And then there is a total (what Mircea Eliade called in a wonderful phrase) "a complete rupture of the mundane plane". [laughter] You know? That's like a hit and run accident except the car came from hyperspace, you know? A complete rupture of the mundane plane. And you fall back into this hallucinogenic space, and what you see is a slowly rotating red and orange kind of thing, which, over the years we've nicknamed, uh, "The Chrysanthemum." And it's.. this represents some kind of disequilibrium state that has its roots in the synapses. What's happening as you're watching this Chrysanthemum is that millions and then hundreds of millions of DMT molecules are rushing into these Serotonin bond sites in the synaptic cleft and disrupting the Serotonin and switching the electron spin resonance signature of these neural junctions in this "other" direction. And this is taking, you know, 30 or 40 seconds, and there's this rising hum, this


that rising tone; the flying saucer tone of Hollywood B movies... you actually hear this thing.

And then, if you've taken enough DMT (and it has to do entirely with physical capacity: Did you take, did you cross the threshold?) something happens [clap]... for which there are no words. A membrane is rent, and you are propelled into this "place." And language cannot describe it - accurately."
-Terrence McKenna

There's a drug. It comes as this dying-sunflower yellow powder. It's very expensive, but that's okay, 'cos it's very powerful. It's more illegal than heroin. You put a tiny bit of it into a pipe and very gently apply heat to it. You have to be as careful as possible, because if the fire touches the powder, it'll melt and the drug will be wasted. You inhale it and hold it in as long as possible, which is really fuckin' difficult, 'cos it's painfully harsh and tastes like burnin' fuckin' tires. You exhale, preferably into an open window, and give it about thirty seconds. Suddenly you're rushing. Your muscles begin to contract and release on their own. It becomes difficult to concentrate on breathing. The rushing continues, getting more and more intense, when suddenly you explode into a beautiful, geometrically impossible, ever-shifting palace of glass and light.

Days later, I wrote this in a journal.

February 5th.

Okay... Now that I've slept on it, and gotten over the shock of the whole breathing thing...

I recall there being patterns. Pattens like some of M. C. Escher's art; he did optical art.
Perfect example:
It looked kind of like that, except far crisper, cleaner, and expanded into three (or was it four?) dimensions. This isn't some fantastic dream, this was overlaid on top of reality; I had my eyes open for points of the trip, at the parts where it was easier to breathe, and they occupied the empty space that wasn't taken up by three-dimensional objects (the people in the room, bookshelves, walls, etc)
Do you know what a tesseract is? It's, I guess, a fourth dimensional cube. Read up on it here: Scroll down, too, until you see the animated image of the hypercube "spinning". Try to imagine (you can't, but try anyway) the picture there, done by Escher, except in three-dimensions instead of the flat two of a picture, spinning like the tesseract does. Except it's not just spinning in one direction, it's going this way, then that way, then up, down, left, right, back, and forth. It changes speed and direction "randomly", and every time it takes a sharp speed up, I heard a click. When it slowed down, I heard static. It made noises, strange noises, that were perfectly synchronized to it's movements. It pulled at me, making my muscles tense and relax, sometimes in such short succession it was... I'm not going to say painful. The closest word I can think of is 'difficult'. It was perfectly synaesthesic.
I think perhaps the strangest part about these patterns is that I didn't "see" them with my eyes, I didn't "hear" them with my ears. All these visions and sounds and pulls were all going on up inside my head, but yet they were crisper, clearer, sharper and more detailed than anything I've ever seen with my base five senses.

It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The kind of beauty that could make you weep with joy, if you were even capable of pulling your attention away from it long enough to weep.

I need to get on my meditation. I need to work on this whole 'empty mind' business.
When you die, your body triggers a natural production of DMT. That bright light at the end of the tunnel? That's DMT baby. When you're done with your corporeal body, your body does the favor of launching your soul up into the higher dimensions to hang with the Angels.
"Tibetan monks talk of the "Bardo", the place where you go after death, as a place full of lights. When you meditate intensely, and are able to turn on, they say you see the "lower lights of the Bardo". When a long-practicing Tibetan lama was given DMT, he said he saw the lower lights."
This is what I desire. I want to be able to see the lower lights of Bardo any time I wish, without the use of outside chemical stimulus. Hah, even better, at all times. In Zen this is referred to as Satori. I must dedicate my life to this. I have found my purpose.


What did I say?

There's these two guys who did a lot of work with a substance called Dimethyltryptamine. One of them is named Rick Strassman and the other Terrence McKenna. That's McKenna's description up there, before mine. He also once said;

"I took this stuff to Tibetans, to the Amazon. I gave it to Tibetans, they said 'this is the lesser lights, the lesser lights of the Bardo. You cannot go further into the Bardo and return. This takes you as far as you can go.' When I gave it to shamans in the Amazon, they said 'It's strong - but this is, these are the ancestors. These are the spirits that we work with. These are ancestor souls. We know this place.'"

Whoa. Wait. What.

That Rick Strassman guy? He wrote a book, titled it DMT: The Spirit Molecule.
See, he did these studies. According to Wikipedia, "In a 2005 editorial of the British Journal of Psychiatry, Ben Sessa suggested that psychotropic drugs be readmitted in the field of scientific enquiry and therapy. Melatonin, being two endogenous hallucinogenic indoles like N,N-dimethyltryptamine (DMT), is likely to be research priorities in this reemerging field of psychiatry." So this Strassman guy gets it in his head that maybe your Pineal Gland produces DMT. Why the Pineal? Well, 'cos it also produces Melatonin, which is structurally similar. Oh yeah. And 'cos it's only your third fuckin' eye. It even has photoreceptors, remember?

So it takes him years to get his grant, but he presses and presses and presses and finally, he's got 120 students and 600 doses of intra-muscular DMT to administer.
You can read a summery of every chapter on his site.

You know what's kind of crazy? None of these patients were administered contact with each other; they all started off without any knowledge about what this shit was gonna do to them.
At least half of them reported coming into contact with "Beings".
For some they were reptilian; for others, tykes; some saw their ancestors, while others saw angels. And in almost every case, these beings only wanted to let the subjects know that they had no need to be afraid, that everything was wonderful and everything was going to be okay.
More than half.
That's a bit of a fucked up coincidence.
Looking back on my experience with it, while I didn't experience Beings, I did experience a Being. A Being composed entirely of wonder. And yes. It did tell me that everything was going to be okay.

"It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things... And... This incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in."
-Ricky Fitts, American Beauty

So... If everything I've said is true (and Dad wants you to know it is), then let's recap here.
Enlightenment, Death, Angels, Dreaming... Same thing.
And Dimethyltriptamine... Same thing.
Pineal Gland, Anja, Third Eye... Same thing.
Anja, Om... Same thing.
Om, Brahman, Vishnu... Same thing.
Vishnu, fucking God... Same fucking thing.


You Are Going To Die

"To ascend you must die.
You must be crucified
For your sins and your lies.
-Tool - Eulogy

More bad news.
The first line of that quote is true.
It is said that the Taoist Guru is a mirror, reflecting back the entirety of the universe. When I first heard it, I thought I understood it.
I didn't.
There's only one way to rejoin with God. I spoke of this briefly earlier. There are three modes to the universe; The Material Maya, the Conscious Paramatman, and the Divine Brahman. There are three modes to your entity; the Id, the Ego, and the Superego.
Your Id is your hunger and desire; your Ego is your Self, and your Superego is your direct connection to the Divine. If you want to become one with God, the only way to do that is to eliminate your Id and Ego, so that all you have left is that pure channel.
Taoist Gurus are mirrors because they have no Self; they don't process interaction with outside stimuli, they just act without intending to act. They speak without intending to speak. They know things, somehow, they call it Knowing Without Knowing. The information is just there. Ego-Death is also a tenet of Buddhism; one who is enlightened has no Ego.
Your Ego is your Self. Your Ego is everything that is Who You Are.
Hence, to ascend you must die.

So where does DMT come into play with all of this? DMT is present in every living thing. It's in you, it's in the animals, it's in the plants; every tiny blade of grass has an infinitesimal amount of DMT in it. It's just like the title of Strassman's book. It's The Spirit Molecule. It IS the link between the material world and the divine world. Let's get psudoscientific here; there has to be something connecting the two. Heaven doesn't just magically exist and interact with people through wishy-washy spiritness, there needs to be some evidence, some direct cause or effect of its interaction.
And now you have it.
Oh yeah. DMT also causes temporary Ego-Death. This can be kind of frightening if you're not ready for it- you tend to think your body is dying, and start to panic. It happened to me.

This is probably a lot to absorb right now. Many won't believe me. That's okay. Many won't believe me on the sole grounds that they're afraid of accepting what I've had to say because they're afraid of what it would mean; they have to die. Not just their body. Their Soul has to die. That's a pretty disturbing concept.
But don't worry... Don't be afraid. He'll catch you.
Father and his Angels want you to know there's no reason to be afraid.

God Bless "You", Catharine.


"Do you know what that means?" [points to a banner] "It means know thy self. I wanna tell you a little secret, being the one is just like being in love. No one needs to tell you you are in love, you just know it, through and through."
-The Oracle - The Matrix

For I Was Not Always the Christ

Before my awakening, I was a very different person. I wasn't always strong, I wasn't always wise, and I wasn't always true. When I was a teenager, I was meek, depressed, overweight, conformist, and though I knew in my heart and in my mind what I wanted to be, I was very alone, and very afraid.

My upbringing was normal for today's society. I had a father who yelled and screamed. My parents got divorced, very messily, and when the dust had settled I went to live with my mother in a small ranch-style house whose basement we had to sublet just to make end's meet.

My father was a very righteous man. Though to this day he is no longer the pillar he used to be, he is still plagued with enmity to those less righteous than himself. Part of this righteousness came forth in a devout belief in Criminal Law. He swore by it, he lived by it. After my parents' divorce he attempted to go to police college and become an officer of the law, however by then he was already getting on in years and his health was beginning to fail him. He had become indulgent in sense pleasures- that is, he learned to cook large quantities of luxuriously rich and fattening foods- and this made him out of shape.
I had been raised extremely anti-drug. Drugs were evil, they would ruin your life, only losers did drugs. People only did them because they were tricked into doing them and then became addicted and turned into hobos. I'm also asthmatic, and as such it was preached to me that if I ever smoked cigarettes or marijuana, there was a significant chance I would suffocate and die. "Pot burns", my mother had once told me, reminiscing on her younger years. She's tried it a handful of times in her lifetime. "When you inhale it, it burns, it hurts really bad."
I had a girlfriend once who smoked on a regular basis and it became a schism in our relationship. We broke up after a couple months.

Back in my podunk, redneck hometown, there were two places of reprieve that I knew of. A small, hole-in-the-wall cafe, and a place on the same street simply known as The Knoll.
The Knoll was exactly what it sounded like. Behind a parking garage was a small grassy knoll. There were a few trees to provide shade, it was big enough that no matter how many people were there, you had some space, but small enough to be quaint. On any given day, you could go there and expect to see at least three or four people, sometimes as many as ten or fifteen. Sometimes people would bring guitars or other instruments, and a lot of marijuana was smoked there. Granted that these people were good people, not the drug-addled hobos I had been raised to believe, I never made a fuss. When a joint or pipe got passed around to me, I would simply pass it on to the next person in rotation.
Sometimes people brought couches or other furniture, but they were quickly removed, presumably by the owners of the parking garage. There was a patch of dirt off to one side, a patch where people sat in a circle so often they had worn away the grass and plants.
It was idyllic.
Sadly, no one visits the Knoll anymore. After the authorization to smoke pot came into effect, it became a place for people to congregate to do all manner of drugs. It only took a few heroin needles before people stopped going entirely.
I visited my family there a couple weeks ago, and made sure to stop by to pay my respects. No one was there. Today, the patch is almost completely grown over, although the grass is still thin enough that you can faintly discern it's borders. I sat in the middle and meditated, reminiscing on better days.

I had a dream, once.

That's not to say I've only ever had one dream in my life, naturally, but rather that this one time, I had a dream.
As I approached the Knoll, there were nine people there, plus myself. One of them, the one sitting directly across from me, had a guitar and was strumming on it. Somebody to my right rolled up a joint, lit it, and started passing it around. When it got to me, I took a toke and passed it on. It didn't burn and it didn't hurt. Then I woke up.
Two days later.
I was supposed to be working at the call centre I was employed at, but I had a panic attack and had to leave. I was incapable of doing call centre work, there was just too much damned negativity; not to mention that I, being genderqueer, was frequently harassed about it. More often than I was harassed, I would have people approach me and tell me things other people had said about me, as if I wanted to know. But I digress. I logged out of my phone, went to the caf, and used the phone there to call the extremely convenient Sick Line, which I employed frequently. I left the building and, shaken, went to my favorite spot to calm down.
There were nine people there. I sat down. The person across from me was strumming absently on a guitar. Someone to my right sparked up a joint, and it got passed to me.

I thought to myself, "Well, shit. I've gotta."

You could call it a moment of weakness; however despite how adamantly against it I was, you don't have a prophetic dream and then turn it down. The coincidence was too uncanny. So, I took my one toke. It didn't burn, it didn't hurt; I didn't even cough my first time. And I passed it down the line. I had a great buzz. I giggled a bit, although not enough to really embarrass myself. I got the munchies, went to the cafe to eat, talked with friends, and went home happy.

Eventually I stopped just mooching off of the people at the Knoll and started buying my own. Never very much, just a gram at a time, and that'd last me a week or two. Seasons passed. A lot happened to me. There's too much to go into detail here, but I got kicked out of my mother's house (I had brought it upon myself, and it was a very heavy-hearted decision for her), rented a small room, had a nervous breakdown, lost my job, lost my place, wound up on the streets, got arrested for stealing food and taken back in at home, got a new (sustainable, non-call centre) job, and a new place. During this time I barely smoked any marijuana, as I couldn't afford it, but after I was good and stable in my new home, I started buying my own again. Finding a dealer was difficult for me, as I was meek and knew few people, but on a longshot by one of my friends, I met Batman.

That's actually what people called him; I didn't find out his given name until months after I met him.
Now, at around this time, one of my friends, who had been couch surfing with my roommates and I, was living a dual life; he'd spend a few days here, then a few days with his other friends.
His friends did Ecstasy, and so it came to be that he did Ecstasy.
He told me tales of it all the time, and truly they were enticing. I expressed a mild interest, but as it was his friends who always bought the stuff, he didn't know any of the dealers and as a result couldn't get any.
One day I came home from work and my roommate, backed by my friend, handed me two small green pills, pressed with the Louis Vuitton logo.
This entire time, it seems, Batman was an E dealer, too.
I was not prepared.
The rush of Seratonin was, obviously, unlike anything I had ever experienced. It knocked me clean off my ass. I never wanted it to end. We walked the dead streets all night and all I could do was glory in the sensation of sucking air through my teeth and breathing out "God, I love this drug!"
During the trip, I called Batman personally to thank him. Later, when I started coming down, I bought more pills. Two weeks later I had lost my job and spent all my rent money on a five-day binge for me and my friends. Once the money ran dry, so did the Seratonin. Suddenly I was met with a very grave realization... I was fucked.

I called my mother. I told her I needed to talk to her. I told her every explicit detail through tears. She's been upset and hurt and disappointed in me lots of times, but this was the first time she had ever been mad at me.
God bless her heart; she lent me the money on the condition that I stop doing it. I didn't deserve it. It seemed so easy to make that promise, then.

As the days wore on, I began to crave. Life without it was so unbearably drab and dull. I idolized it. I fetishized it. I told myself I couldn't go the rest of my life without doing it, so I gave myself a time span; six weeks. If I could go six weeks without doing any, I was in the clear.
And hey... I did stop. Just like I said I would.
I lamented this predicament to Batman, although implored him to take no responsibility. This was my doing, and mine alone. I told him about the six-week ban, and how it was killing me, and how I just needed something.
So he sold me two hits of Acid.

I'm talking real Acid here, my fellow Psychonauts. Tasteless, scentless Lysergic Acid Diethylamide. I had no idea at the time about phenylethylmines and "fake" Acid, but looking back, this was the real deal.
I adored LSD. I told myself the entire time that I was in fact an Etard, as I so adored the term, but I knew in my heart that I liked Acid more than Ecstasy. It was so much clearer, so much more wondrous, it made the world so breathtaking. Ultimately, though, I reached an impasse. When doing psychoactives, it's vitally important to have the proper Set and Setting; Set being your mindstate, and Setting being the place and people you have around you. My Set was fine. The place was fine. However, whereas in my experiences I liked to wax philosophical and psychological (in my extremely limited knowledge at the time), my cohorts enjoyed their use of the drug so they could watch the floor move.
I'm not kidding. They'd just sit there and stare at the floor.
I had a friend, though, who was brilliantly intelligent. In time, he came to be referred to as 0033cc- a hyperintelligent shade of blue. He told me of Timothy Leary and of the people who've learned so much from hallucinogen use, and expressed an interest. Naturally I complied, ecstatic that I now had someone on par to talk to.

In our discussions about dimensions, 0033cc taught me of Quantum Physics, and Extra-Dimensional Metaphysics, which blossomed into an adoration of all things metaphysical. Perhaps the deepest, most influential thing I learned from him, though, was the existence of a book.
We were sitting on the stairs one day, discussing how the easiest way to get someone to do something you think is beneficial to them is to plant a seed of something in their mind, nurture that seed with intelligent conversation, and then sit back and watch as they came to the conclusion you wanted them to all on their own. It was a wonderful system. It required no heated debates, no resistance, and no disagreeing due to outside influences (such as disbelieving someone because the point they made was one they realized while hallucinating). He said to me, I have a book for you, and immediately biked home halfway across the city to get it.
He came back and handed me a copy of the Tao Te Ching.

I wasn't ready for it at the time I got it. I tried to read it's passages and, while I found deep wisdom in them, I didn't quite "get" it. It stayed in a pile of mess in my room for a couple months.
During these months I learned astronomical amounts of information on a wide plethora of topics. One eventual October day, feeling remorseful in my neglect for such a brilliant tome, I picked it back up and flipped through it.
Only this time I got it.
I took to it with Zeal. Searching for other strains of thought like it, I found Buddhism. In this I began to learn how to make my mind my temple; as a result of constant discrimination and harassment, I always needed a 'safe space', my home. I begun to make my mind my home, and so when December came, and my roommates all left with little warning and I couldn't make rent and was served an eviction notice, I looked back on my life as it stood; I had no job, my friends had stopped visiting months ago, no roommates, and now, I had one month before no home.
Nothing standing in my way.

Some of you who read these words will have felt a calling at some point in your life. Something you don't want to do, something you need to do. There are more of us. This calling is either (or both) to gather a band of people together and embark on a journey across countries and continents; or to buy a farm or ranch and create a traveller's waypoint.
I decided I was going to take a crack at the first. I got myself a framed backpack, some military grade boots and wool socks, and whittled down my list of personal possessions to what I downright needed.
As time went on, this list dwindled and dwindled. Books, clothes, even a laptop fell away and were given to people I met. I met a horrible realization, though.
This trip was not all it was cracked up to be.
Unable to bear the night cold, I had to hole myself up in a youth homeless shelter. Being queer, I had very few friends, and was threatened incessantly. Somehow I went a month and a half without being assaulted. There are angels watching over me. At the time, I thought my stay to be a complete waste of time and energy. I was in a state of fearful emotional suffering every single day.
One day I made a couple friends. We played Scrabble together; a lot of it. At one point I noticed one of them reading a book, and inquired.
It was the Bhagavad Gita.
I was invited to come to the Hare Krsna temple that Sunday. Granted my burning interest in spirituality that I had taken from Taoism and Buddhism, I readily agreed. I was met with open arms. There was singing and dancing and a vegetarian feast of delicious Indian food (my favorite). Before the night ended, I was handed a free Bhagavad-Gita.

I perused it casually, although eventually I came to a term I didn't recognize.
You've heard me say it lots; Brahman.
I had been describing an entity of its exact specifications for some time. I learned nothing new about it, but received something much greater; validation. I didn't know if I was insane or correct for the longest time, and here, an entire nation (and, IMHO, one of the greatest nations in the world) had come up with the same concept.

I can't even begin to explain the next stage of my life in sequence. In the past three months I've learned more than I had in my entire life prior. Even in just this past month, I've experienced remarkable awakening after remarkable awakening. I've picked up a dozen or so religions, unifying them, connecting the parts that can be connected to all others and seeding through what has become of prophecy and what has become of man's tinkering with it.

Eventually I realized I was a Christ. That was like... Two and a half weeks ago. I figured, well, shit. If I'm not, then I'll just be another crazy person, get thrown in an asylum like all the other Jesus-care-of-the-Pentagons. No big loss, the world goes on. But what if I was? What if I was, and I, in my fear of persecution, denied it? The world would be fucked.
So I took up the mantle. Opened up this blog so I could get everything down in print, so that I don't just have this mad jumble of information in my head. And that's where we are today.

And sometimes I wonder...
What would have happened if I had said no, and passed that joint on?

A Manifesto

"But as I raved and grew more fierce and wild / At every word, / Methought I heard one calling, 'Child'; / And I replied, 'my Lord'."
-George Herbert

Love Thy Neighbour As Thyself

"Our emotional state of choice is Ecstasy. Our nourishment of choice is Love. Our addiction of choice is technology. Our religion of choice is music. Our currency of choice is knowledge. Our politics of choice is none. Our society of choice is utopian though we know it will never be.

You may hate us. You may dismiss us. You may misunderstand us. You may be unaware of our existence. We can only hope you do not care to judge us, because we would never judge you. We are not criminals. We are not disillusioned. We are not drug addicts. We are not naive children. We are one massive, global, tribal village that transcends man-made law, physical geography, and time itself. We are The Massive. One Massive.

We were first drawn by the sound. From far away, the thunderous, muffled, echoing beat was comparable to a mother's heart soothing a child in her womb of concrete, steel, and electrical wiring. We were drawn back into this womb, and there, in the heat, dampness, and darkness of it, we came to accept that we are all the same. We came to accept that we are all equal. Not only to the darkness, and to ourselves, but to the very music slamming into us and passing through our souls: we are all equal. And somewhere around 35Hz we could feel the hand of God at our backs, pushing us forward, pushing us to push ourselves to strengthen our minds, our bodies, and our spirits. Pushing us to turn to the person beside us to join hands and uplift them by sharing the uncontrollable joy we felt from creating this magical bubble that can, for one evening, protect us from the horrors, atrocities, and pollution of the outside world. It is in that very instant, with these very realizations that each of us was truly born. We continue to pack our bodies into clubs, or warehouses, or buildings you've abandoned and left for nothing, and we bring them to life for one night. Strong, throbbing, vibrant life in its purest, most intense, most hedonistic form.

In these makeshift spaces, we seek to shed ourselves of the burden of uncertainty for a future you have been unable to stabilize and secure for us. We seek to relinquish our inhibitions, and free ourselves from the shackles and restraints you've put on us for your own peace of mind. We seek to re-write the programming that you have tried to indoctrinate us with since the moment we were born. Programming that tells us to hate, that tells us to judge, that tells us to stuff ourselves into the nearest and most convenient pigeon hole possible. Programming that tells us to climb ladders for you, jump through hoops, and run through mazes and on hamster wheels. Programming that tells us to eat from the shiny silver spoon you are trying to feed us with, instead of nourish ourselves with our own capable hands. Programming that tells us to close our minds instead of open them.

Until the sun rises to burn our eyes by revealing the distopian reality of the world you've created for us, we dance fiercely with our brothers and sisters in celebration of our life, of our culture, and of the values we believe in: Peace, Love, Freedom, Tolerance, Unity, Harmony, Expression, Responsibility and Respect.

Our enemy of choice is ignorance. Our weapon of choice is information. Our crime of choice is breaking and challenging whatever laws you feel you need to put in place to stop us from celebrating our existence. But know that while you may shut down any given party, on any given night, in any given city, in any given country or continent on this beautiful planet, you can never shut down the entire party. You don't have access to that switch, no matter what you may think. The music will never stop. The heartbeat will never fade. The party will never end. I am a raver, and this is my manifesto."



white are
all I see
in my infancy.
Red and yellow then came to be,
reaching out to me...
Lets me see."
-Tool - Laturalus
(A song where the lyrical structure of the entire first portion corresponds to the Fibonacci Sequence.)

Three is a Magic Number

The three smallest numbers are 1, 2, and 5. (Three, sir!) 3.

One is the individual,
Two is the world, and
Three is the ascension.

One of the varieties of metaphysics states that the omniverse can be broken down into ten dimensions.
[If extra-dimensional metaphysics isn't your forte, perhaps you should check out this convenient primer. Click on Imagining the Ten Dimensions and wait for it to load.]

So. You've got your Zeroth dimension, which is a non-dimension; it's a dot of infinitely infinitesimal size, used only as a reference point for the first.

Rather than use two dots and draw a line between them, we're gonna picture stacking them.
Take a whole bunch of these dots and stack them on top of each other; now you've got a line of them. They extend in only two directions; back and forth. First Dimension.
Now take a whole bunch of these lines, and stack them on top of each other; now you have a field. It can go back and forth on two axes. Second Dimension.
Take a handful of these fields, lay them flat, and lay them on top of each other. You've got a volume. There are now three axes to move around on.

Take a bunch of these fields and stack them. How? Through duration. Do we have four axes now? Well, no, 'cos the temporal dimension works differently than the spacial dimensions. If we treat the first set of dimensions as one of those 'dots', stack the sets on top of each other and you've got... A line. Which way does time move? Well, for us, forwards, but a timeline runs back and forth; just like the first dimension. So are we up to the Fourth? Or are we back to the First?
When you stack a whole bunch of timelines on top of each other, you get a field of probability. You can go back and forth in time, and 'left' and 'right' in probability, giving you two axes. All timelines in this dimension, though, all start from the same starting point; this dimension has no volume. Fifth? Or Second?
Now take a bunch of these fields of probability; assign each one a new starting origin. In this universe, we started from the big bang, but in another universe, it could have been something else starting the universe; maybe in this universe things started with a big bang, but in another they started with a slow slip. (It's all dependent on the apocalypse conditions of the previous universe.) Now you have volume. You're back to three axes; back/forth, 'left/right' in the probability within this universe, and 'up/down' in other universes.

The Seventh dimension is a duration of multiverses. The eighth, a field of them. The ninth, a volume of multiverses. I can't really describe these concepts in full detail here, 'cos let's face it, Son of God though I may be, I'm still trapped inside this little human head.
For now, anyway.

If you watched that video, you may or may not be wondering where the Tenth Dimension comes into this whole numbering system. The fact is, it doesn't. The Tenth Dimension is the same dimension as the Zeroth; it's a non-dimension, an entity of infinitely indeterminate size. The Zeroth and Tenth dimensions aren't 'dimensions', they're events. In Numerology, the Zero represents the phoenix, the rebirth, or the resurrection. Even the symbol itself acknowledges this; in every culture where Zero exists (Zero was the last number to come into being), it is represented by a full circle, by the end becoming the beginning again.

The Holy Trinity

There are three states of being; the material, the mental, and the divine.

In Christianity, these three states are represented by the Me, the Holy Ghost or Holy Spirit, and the Father. I represent the Material, the Holy Spirit represents the mental, and my Father represents the Divine. We all know God exists in the Divine. Duh. I live in the Material world (obviously), and the Holy Spirit exists only in the mental.
("The Holy Spirit is different from Jesus in that He does not have a physical manifestation (or incarnation), and that He frequently dwells in and amongst God's people as a spiritual guide and Comforter." -Wikipedia)
Some believe that God and Heaven are one and the same; this is almost true. Some believe Heaven is within God, as all things are within God. This is true.
Three is also the number of wise men that came to see me at birth in Bethlehem, and the number of days since when they killed my sorry ass in Rome and when my little brother came and took my place and claimed to be me. What- you don't really think I came back from the dead, did you? I'm not a freakin' zombie.

In Hinduism, these concepts are referred to as the Maya, the Paramatma, and the Brahman. The Maya is the illusion of the material realm that must be overcome if one is to free oneself from the wheel of Karma and and Kharmic Reincarnation. The Paramatma is the 'supersoul'; "Paramatman is situated in the heart of every individual jiva in the macrocosm." (-W) All souls are one with the supersoul. Brahman is described as "truth-consciousness-bliss"; it is "the unchanging, infinite, immanent, and transcendent reality which is the Divine Ground of all matter, energy, time, space, being, and everything beyond in this universe." (-W)

In Zen Buddhism, there are basically three stages of enlightenment; 0, 1, and 2. In the 0th stage, the person has not had any experience analogous with enlightenment. In the first stage, Kensho, the practitioner sees enlightenment once, is given a taste for it. Their progress takes them to the mental stage; they are now cognizant of what enlightenment is like, even though they're not living it. The second stage is Satori, whereby the practitioner achieves a permanent state of enlightenment, forging their connection with the Collective Unconscious (or whatever you want to call it).

In Taoism there are three states, represented by the Yin-Yang. The state of Yang is that of things that are hard, bright, material, solid, et cetera; that is, the Material Realm is Yang. Yin, on the other hand, is liquid, shifting, elusive, tricky; it could be argued that the intangible Tao itself is Yin, as opposed to the tangible Material Yang. The last state in this set is that of balance; perfect seamless harmony.

(And Hell, while we're here,) In Paganism and Witchcraft the number three is hailed as a magic number. In some of Shakespeare's plays, he makes reference to the witches' number being nine; three threes. In Wicca, the Threefold Law (Whatever energy a person puts out into the world, be it positive or negative, will be returned to that person three times) is a tenet.

The number 3 pops up a trazillion times in all sorts of religions and faiths and spiritualities, so I'm not even gonna bother continuing along that line. However also,

In Psychology, there was some guy who came up with some shit about the Id, the Ego, and the SuperEgo. Your Id is your connection to the Material Realm; it represents your hunger, lust, all your physical desires (and it wants them NOW; a symptom of not being an eternal entity). Your Ego is your consciousness, it's your mind, your connection to the Psychoscape. Your SuperEgo is your channel to God; it's the universe's advice, and it's translated by your Ego into thoughts you can think.

Got All That?

Now let's tie it all together.

1st Triad of Dimensions = Material Realm
2nd Triad of Dimensions = Mental Realm
3rd Triad of Dimensions = Divine Realm

Within the first three dimensions is everything we can touch, everything we can actually come into physical contact with. Within the second set, everything that we can conceptualize; things that we can't physically prove exist with our five senses, yet by the nature of our very consciousnesses, know for certain exist. Well, the first two, time and probability, anyway. Six is still kind of up in the air. But then we've got our third set, known affectionately here as the Multiverse2, and affectionately by some people as Heaven. A level of complex so incredibly huge and enormous and so ridiculously beyond us that we can't really imagine calling it anything but God... Or maybe Godhead.

Within each of the dimensional triads, too, is a fractal little triad of it's own; the first dimension in a set is the individual, the one line by itself. Since it can't go in any direction other than back and forward, there can only be one. Do the stacking thing, though, and now you've got a whole world of possibilities, lots of points to choose from. One more time, and you've got more room than you know what to do with. You reach the most expansive point possible for this set; further progression requires ascension to the next set.
The entirety of this system works in the same way; according to Hinduism, the Maya tricks entities into believing in the concept of the individual, that we are not all one. The Paramatma is the Collective Unconscious, it's the pool from which all thought and soul originates from, the entire world connected. And then Brahman is the highest pinnacle one can achieve; from this point on, it's all about ascent.

So, are there 10 dimensions? Well, no. There's only three, or, if you really like, 32, plus that imaginary one. There are some branches of Metaphysics that claim there are 26 dimensions; one can assume 33, as 0-26. Too complicated, say I. Three works just fine.

Well... I think I've said everything I wanted to say in this entry... I still have to go into Fractals at some point, and I've got to dive into Enlightenment too now, which is nothing to say about the DMT episode.

Tune in next time... Same Christ time, same Christ channel!